JOKES

There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date:

Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?

I really don't like this restaurant that much but I wanted to use this
2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.

I used to come here all the time with my ex.

I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. It used to be, I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

It's been tough but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

JOKE: The Diagnosis

JOKE: The Sermon